AMY & BEN

How we met and fell in love — from both of our perspectives.

Amy's Version

“I think this might be the real deal.”

That’s what I wrote in my journal, just three months after meeting Ben. We’d connected in January 2021, on what started as a “socially-distanced” first date. I’d just spent the better part of a year hunkered down inside my apartment with my two roommates, debating when it was safe to stop disinfecting the groceries with Clorox wipes or take a neighborhood stroll without a mask. Dating was a particularly sensitive topic. Were we cool with trusting the word of some random dude on an app who promised his Covid test was negative?

The prospect made everyone in the household anxious, but I’d also just turned 35. Even after the pandemic started, I kept my profiles on Bumble and Hinge active. Talking to potential suitors allowed me to pretend that life as we knew it hadn’t completely halted. Of course, if you wanted to move past nightly FaceTime dates and meet IRL, you had to get creative. One of my roomies, Shelby, went viral after I started documenting her budding relationship with a guy online — they first met through a window, he dropped off home cooked meals on our steps, and by the time it ended they’d never even touched.

With “Benjamin, 36, Music Industry,” I kept it simple: We decided he’d come to my backyard so we could build a fire in the outdoor pit, roast s’mores and get to know one another. I may suck at math, but I did know that campfires + marshmallows + bearded men almost always = happy me.

I had a good feeling about Ben, but after years of being on the apps, I’d learned not to get my hopes up too high for the initial face-to-face. Still, there was one quick exchange we’d had online prior to meeting that stuck with me. Ben mentioned that he was an early riser, and that the mornings were when he thrived. I immediately expressed my dismay.

“That is a problemo for moi,” I said. “I thrive in darkness.”

“Well,” he responded, “You take the night shift & I got the morning. Hey…look at us.”

His words indicated that he wouldn’t be intimidated by our differences — that he might even view them as complimentary.

When he turned up in my yard that cold winter night, I found out that this really was Ben’s approach to relationships. Unlike so many men who had me lean into my reporter persona and ask all of the questions, Ben expressed his curiosity about me, too. I didn’t have to play up how much I liked hiking or swimming in the ocean or going to the gym. (Yes, I do realize those all have to do with physical activity.) He wanted me to be me.

So yeah, the plan to remain socially distant that night didn’t exactly work out. We kissed, and before long, we were spending all of our time together. Things with Ben felt so comfortable and good that we both were leaning in, hard. So when the opportunity arose to go on our first road trip together, we jumped.

Ben always describes that trip as a real make-or-break moment — you do, after all, see someone’s true colors when you travel with them. But we weren’t going far: My dear friend, Lauren, and her husband own a house in Petaluma, a small city in Sonoma County. The home is particularly special to them because they eloped there over a decade ago. Knowing how crazy we were all going after being stuck in LA for a year, they generously offered to let us stay in Petaluma for a quick escape.

I must have looked like an idiot during that entire week in Northern California, because I could not stop smiling. We ran with Riggins — he came, duh! — through the Cypress Tree Tunnel on the way to Point Reyes. Ben bought me Icelandic peonies from a farm stand on the side of the road.

He ate oysters in Tomales Bay and didn’t make me feel like a loser for ordering the only non-seafood item on the menu: A baguette with fancy butter. A deer wandered into the backyard of the house and we pretended to be David Attenborough, narrating the animal’s behaviors.

“I think this might be the real deal,” I wrote in my journal one afternoon, sneaking glances at him from across the room as he worked on his laptop. “I don't know what to do with all of this happiness. I feel like I'm constantly about to cry both because I want to cling to the feeling and because I'm overwhelmed by the power of the emotion. Being here with him playing house makes me want to live with him, straight up. After three months, I am thinking about what it would be like to live together. I keep almost slipping up and telling him I love him.”

A few days later, he said those three words before I had the chance to. Within a year, we’d get our own place. And in the four years since, we’ve gone back to this part of California half a dozen times. So when Ben asked me to marry him, I immediately knew I wanted the wedding to happen near the tall redwoods, dramatic coastlines and rolling hills of Marin and Sonoma counties -- the place where we fell in love.

Ben's Version

Let’s go back to the last Wednesday in January 2021. Some things that were “in” at the time include: distance (six feet preferred), nose swabs, cardboard fan cutouts at sports arenas, scattered pics of COVID-19 test results in your phone's camera roll, poker nights via Zoom, dining al fresco, 10,000 daily steps + meditation, Dua Lipa advising us to levitate and last but certainly not least, a welcomed return to hope and optimism as vaccines began to roll out nationwide. What a time it was to be alive.

This evening, the World Champion Los Angeles Lakers were on the road to take on the Philadelphia 76ers. Whether playing with friends or watching on TV, basketball has been and will always be a refuge of comfort for me. The game ended in a loss for my beloved hoops team on a last-second shot. After a post-game debrief via text with some friends, I was ready to put the game behind me and wind down my evening. But my phone suddenly had other plans; a notification needed my attention.

It had been about a month since I re-downloaded Bumble and a few years since any dating apps occupied space on my phone. I was nervous and excited, but my heart was fully open and ready for whatever came my way. The app proclaimed I had a match - her name, Amy, 34 - It began with a: "Hey There :)". The banter was sharp, the jokes were witty, and by the looks of her profile pictures, her eyes were some of the bluest I had ever seen. She proclaimed herself a night owl who thrived in darkness, while I declared my love for early morning anything. Opposites attract in real-time. We were off to a great start! By the end of the night, we exchanged numbers and even got in a quick phone call as she was working late. The weekend rolled around, and our first date was officially set for Saturday night. Pending a negative COVID-19 test, we planned on meeting in her backyard for a fire and some s’mores.

I remember being excited as I drove to her place. I got there a few minutes early and parked. A few deep breaths later, I walked up the long concrete driveway that led to a cozy backyard set with a fire built for two. As I turned the corner, she was on her back porch and those baby blues had a hold on me. I followed her boisterous “Hey!” with a “Hey!” of my own. As if the night couldn’t get any better, a dog sporting a bandana emerged from the house with a light case of zoomies into the backyard. Chants of “My son, my son!” followed. “Ben, this is Riggins!” I was pleased to meet him! We got our beverages, put out the s’more ingredients, and got the glowing fire to the perfect height. We settled into the evening, and it was magic. I couldn’t wait to see her again.

Days turned to months as our connection grew. We started exploring places around Los Angeles, which led to a day trip to Santa Barbara. Then our boldest move to date: A real chance to get away for the first time together. We hit the open road with Riggins in tow and a playlist that could go the distance. Our destination: Petaluma. We made a few pit stops for snacks and a quick charge and arrived at our destination deep into the evening. The next day, it felt like we had been transported to a place just for us, and there was nowhere else we’d rather be. The world was our literal oyster and it felt like time had slowed. Something became undeniably clear: I was falling for Amy, and didn’t want the trip or these feelings to end. This was something real, something forever.

We’re beyond grateful and excited to celebrate with family and friends in our special place where our love soared.

See you this summer!

WELCOME PARTY

Friday, June 27, 2025

Crooked Goat Brewing
110 Howard St.
Petaluma, CA 94952

Please join us for a toast to kick off the weekend!
Beer and light bites will be served. Dress casual!

7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.

THE WEDDING DAY

Saturday, June 28, 2025

The Haven at Tomales
900 Cerini Road
Tomales, California 94971

Shuttles will depart for the wedding venue from
Petaluma and Bodega Bay at: 4:30 PM

Ceremony: 5:30 PM

Cocktail hour: 6:30 - 7:30 PM

Dinner and dancing: 7:30 - 11 PM

(More information on the exact shuttle departure
locations will be provided closer to the wedding date)

Tell me more about this place!

The Haven is a family-operated, 1000-acre private ranch about five miles from the rugged Pacific Coast shoreline. Gold-rush settlers first claimed the land in the mid-1800s, planting a grove of eucalyptus trees on the property in the shapes of a sailor, sword and anchor — the “haven” to shield them from the cool sea breeze. Today, Angus cattle and flocks of sheep wander the pastures — you’ll probably see them on our wedding day! — and endangered Coho salmon swim in a protected watershed. The stewards of the ranch offer events on the property to support their regenerative farming and land conservation initiatives.

All of the artwork featured on our wedding invitations is based on imagery from The Haven. The watercolor landscapes, local map and cute lamb were all graciously painted by Amy's very talented mom, Claudia!

Claudia Kaufman's Art

How do I get to the wedding?

As no parking is allowed at the venue, shuttles will be provided for all guests. Because the Haven is in a relatively remote spot, Uber/Lyft rideshare vehicles may be willing to drop you off — but we’ve been told that finding one for a ride departing the venue will not be a possibility. In other words: Take the shuttles!

There will be shuttles departing from Petaluma and Bodega Bay. When you have secured your weekend accommodations, please let us know where you will be staying so we can share the closest shuttle location with you ahead of the wedding.

Is the ceremony outside?

Yes! The ceremony will take place outdoors, in the shadow of the eucalyptus trees that overlook the ranch’s rolling hills. Though the shuttles will drop you off at the ceremony site, we still wouldn’t recommend sporting your highest pair of stilettos, as the grass and dirt paths may be uneven.

So will it be cold?

It could definitely be a tad chilly. Even though the venue is a couple of miles from the ocean, June daytime temperatures often don’t rise above 70 degrees. That could drop to the mid-fifties after sundown, which isn’t until 8:30 PM, when we’ll have already moved indoors.

In other words, if you’re like Ben — who lives in shorts year round — you’ll probably be fine. If you’re more of an Amy — who never sits on the couch without her beloved heating pad — bring a layer to be safe.

What about the rest of the night?

After the outdoor cocktail hour, we’ll get the party started at the reception inside the historic barn. Just up the hill from the ceremony site, the barn was originally built over 150 years ago and is the stuff of shabby-chic dreams. You should be all good to rock your look without any warm layers in here.

What is the dress code?

While this is not a black-tie affair, we'd love for you to get decked out in your finest cocktail attire. If you're seeking further inspiration, choose soft over structured, light over dark and tie over tieless.

(If any ladies want some photo inspo, a few girlfriends asked Amy for ideas and she can pass the images along to you as well.)

Is there an after-party?

We won’t be having a formal after party, though we are absolutely open to seeing where the night takes us and gathering with any night owls at a nearby bar.

This place looks remote… how do I get there?

The wedding venue is in Tomales: Population — 187. So, yeah, the accommodation options in the immediate vicinity are not exactly extensive. To give you a lay of the land, Tomales is in West Marin County, about an hour north of the Golden Gate Bridge. The closest city to Tomales is Petaluma, which is a 25-minute drive to the east. Petaluma has a few hotels, over 100 dining establishments, grocery stores, shops and a movie theater. As part of Sonoma County, Petaluma is also closer to wine country, should you have a car and want to do some wine tasting in the Napa region.

Drive about 15 minutes west of Tomales and you’ll be at the ocean, where a few small villages dot the coastline. There’s Tomales Bay — an inlet, world-renowned for its oysters — Dillon Beach, Bodega Bay, Marshall and Inverness. While this area is visually stunning, it is secluded, and there is no big, central hub. The accommodations are Airbnbs or inns and there are only a few small restaurants in each village. (Point Reyes, which is roughly 33-minutes by car from the wedding venue, is a more robust town on the coast side, but it may be a further drive to the shuttle stop than some are comfortable with.)

If you’re trying to decide where to stay, think of it this way: If you want to Uber or take public transportation from the airport to your hotel and be able to walk around a small city, go with Petaluma. If you’re going to rent a car and have an interest in exploring the region and taking in the scenery, stay somewhere on the coast. We’ll have shuttle options going to-and-from the wedding if you stay in either area.

What’s the closest airport?

There are three airport options.

The closest (about 40 minutes by car) is Charles M. Schulz–Sonoma County Airport, which is a small airport we’d highly recommend for any guests traveling from LA.
(Think Burbank, but newer and even smaller!)

Oakland International Airport would be our second choice, since it’s roughly an hour away.

The furthest — but also the biggest — option is San Francisco International Airport, which is usually a 90-minute drive.

Where should I stay?

For Petaluma guests, we have room blocks at two hotels:

Hotel Petaluma
205 Kentucky St.
Petaluma, CA 94952
(707) 559-3393
Room rate: $228-$248/night (Two-night minimum)
Booking deadline: May 26th

The Hotel Petaluma is the best location for those without a car, as you can easily walk out the doors and grab a bite or visit a shop on the street. The hotel was built in 1923 and was recently purchased by Hilton as part of the company’s Tapestry Collection. While the 91 guest rooms are appointed with everything you’d need — refrigerators, TVs, wi-fi — please be aware that given the hotel’s historic architecture, the rooms can be small.

Hampton Inn Petaluma
450 Jefferson St.
Petaluma, CA 94952
(707) 397-0000
Room rate: $219/night (Two-night minimum)
Booking deadline: May 11th

The Hampton Inn Petaluma is less than one mile from downtown. While this is a business hotel, it doesn’t look like your standard Hampton Inn because it's housed in a former silk mill originally built in 1892. Some of the 75 rooms have exposed brick and high ceilings, and free breakfast and parking is offered to all guests.

If you’d like to explore other accommodations in Petaluma, there’s a Courtyard by Mariott and Sheraton nearby. We’ve also put together this list of local Petaluma Airbnb options:

Petaluma Airbnbs

For guests staying on the coast:

The Lodge at Bodega Bay
103 CA-1
Bodega Bay, CA 94923
Room rate: $459/on Fri-Sat nights (Two-night minimum; rates are lower on weeknights)
Booking deadline: May 23rd

We have a small room block at the Lodge at Bodega Bay, a beautiful boutique hotel overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The Lodge has 83 rooms — many with fireplaces — a pool and a gym. To book, please call (707) 875-3525 and let the reservationist know you are booking under the "Kaufman wedding room block."

Other coastal lodging options include Nick's Cove and Inn at the Tides. For those looking for an Airbnb, here’s an extensive list of options spanning the area from Bodega Bay down to Marshall.

Coastal Airbnbs

Do I need a car?

Short answer: You can get by without one, but if you’re comfortable driving, you’d probably be happier with one. (Reminder: You can’t drive yourself to the wedding!)

Public transportation:

For guests staying in Petaluma, Groome Transportation offers a shuttle from all three airports that drops passengers off at the Petaluma Fairgrounds. One-way fares are roughly $52. You would then need to get an Uber or taxi to get to your hotel; the car ride would be between 5-8 minutes.

Sonoma-Marin Area Rail Transit (SMART) has a train that goes from Sonoma County Airport and stops at two locations in Petaluma. Please note that you have to take a SMART Connect microtransit shuttle from the airport to the train station, as they are about one-mile apart.

Rough fare estimates for Uber/Lyft:
-STS to Petaluma: $56
-STS to Bodega Bay: $49
-OAK to Petaluma: $101
-OAK to Bodega Bay: $103
-SFO to Petaluma: $114
-SFO to Bodega Bay: $125

Groome Transportation SMART SMART Connect

Shuttles

If you are staying at Hotel Petaluma, the Hampton Inn Petaluma or The Lodge at Bodega Bay, there will be shuttles departing from each hotel for the wedding venue on Saturday. If you are not staying at one of these three hotels, Ben or Amy will contact you individually to advise on which shuttle stop will be most convenient for you.

Guest shuttles will depart promptly at 4:30 PM on Saturday. Please plan accordingly so as to not miss the shuttles!

Parking is not available at the venue, and if you you miss the shuttles you will need to Uber as a last resort. Ubers often struggle with drop offs at the venue, but it is possible to find them in a pinch.

We will have shuttles available to depart the venue starting at 9 PM and continuing on a loop through the end of the evening at 11 PM. There is poor reception at the venue and Ubers typically will not travel there for pick ups because it is remote, so we highly recommend planning on taking the shuttle back to your accommodations!

We can’t wait to celebrate with you.

RSVP

Kindly reply by May 15th, 2025

The Wedding

Add other invited guest(s)

Where will you be staying?

Della Fattoria

Ideal morning-after wedding brunch spot. Freshly-baked bread, a couple of egg sandwich options, good pastries. There are also really nice salads with locally-grown produce, if you’re feeling like being a responsible, annoying adult.

Helen Putnam
Regional Park

This 216-acre park has a variety of trails where you can take in panoramic vistas of the rolling hills. There are six miles of trail options and plenty of majestic live coast oak to take a break under.

Lagunitas Brewing Company

Lagunitas makes one of Ben’s favorite IPAs -- the “smooth and silky” A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale. If wine country isn’t your thing, opt for a beer tasting on one of the taproom’s brewery tours.

Sonoma Sourdough Sandwiches

Another Ben favorite -- a healthy-sized sandwich from this spot on their fresh sourdough bread. He goes for #17 -- a turkey club with “super thick” bacon. Get it to go and have a picnic lunch at the park.

Stellina Pronto

One of Amy’s favorite things about being in Northern California is a tradition Ben established when they first started dating: The morning pastry run. As a lifelong early bird, Ben is typically out of the house before 6 AM and on his way to grab an iced coffee. But this area has a plethora of yummy bakeries, so Ben began picking up his coffee alongside a sweet treat for Amy and then swinging back to drop it off. The aroma almost instantly wakes her up. Stellina Pronto has a respectable pastry selection, but her favorite is the classic Morning Bun.

Bodega Head

If you’re looking for epic views, head to the granite bluffs atop this peninsula. Travel down to the beach, take a hike on one of the trails — Bodega Head Trail is an easy mile walk, while the overlook trail is three miles — and keep your eyes peeled for whales!

The Cypress Tree Tunnel

Head to this picturesque tree-lined tunnel to get an enviable shot for your Instagram grid. It’s on the way to the Point Reyes lighthouse, anyway, so no reason to feel guilty about stopping for a pretty photo opp.

Horse N Around Trail Rides

OK, we’ve never actually done Bodega Bay via horseback, but it looks pretty idyllic. This company offers 60 and 90-minute trail rides that go along the sand dunes or the beach, which sounds like a lovely way to take in the local scenery. Plus, one of their two-dozen horses is named Pickles!! Cuuuute.

NIck's Cove

There are a bunch of great spots to try some oysters on this stretch of the coast, but this is our favorite. Overlooking Tomales Bay, Nick’s Cove is both a restaurant and an inn made up of a handful of adorable seaside cottages. Unlike some of the other oyster restaurants nearby, there’s indoor seating here, too — and there’s a broader menu for those of you who aren’t fans of the local delicacy.

Point Reyes Farmstead Cheese Co.

Blue cheese lovers should definitely check out this female-owned business, which is famous for its wheels of “Original Blue” raw milk cheese. You can stop by the farm’s marketplace to pick up some local cheese, or plan ahead to schedule a special tasting or farm talk.

Point Reyes
Lighthouse

The drive to get here is long — about 45 minutes from Point Reyes Station to the western-most end of the Headlands — but we think it’s totally worth it. Along the way, you’ll likely see some of the 5,700 tule elk that graze on the reserve. (These elk, which are only found in California, once went nearly extinct and have lately been the subject of some major environmental dramz.) Be forewarned that it can get really foggy and windy as you approach the Lighthouse, and once you arrive, there will be some walking to do: It’s a 313-step descent.

Samuel P. Taylor
State Park

If you want to check out some redwoods but don’t want to drive as far as the Muir Woods, this is a great spot. This 2,882-acre park is filled with majestic trees, the salmon-filled Lagunitas Creek and nice Marin County views atop Barnabe Peak.

Our registry and honeymoon fund can be found here:

He'll be there. Obviously.

But will he wear a flower crown or a bowtie? We know you're all on tenterhooks, but you'll just have to wait and see.